The Crazy Roads of Bangkok - Khao San and Patpong

Crazy in a fun way, crazy in a weird way and crazy in a very crazy way, welcome to Khao San and Patpong Roads of Bangkok. 

Khao San Road is THE party place, you should go there – a reminder from a friend. Well, I don’t party much, not before, not now. But then I wanna check out the place just to, well, just to check it out.

One lazy night, the group (me, my buddy and my two guy cousins) went on and explore the famous roads of Khao San and Patpong. We headed to Khao San Road first and went there by foot where we passed by some temples (which we have yet to discover). And then we reached Khao San, the party place (check here for discounted tours, transportation and activities in Bangkok).

Gonna visit you tomorrow, for now, Khao San first.

This narrow strip road is a backpacker’s haven. Cheap and fancy accommodations, foreign exchange counters, tour agents, hawker stalls, clothes rack everywhere, laughter gas, fried insect creatures (yes, I tried those), kids who seemed to be partying since they woke up, tattoo shops, laughter gas, bars, booze, beers, lady boys, free hugs and other thingamajigs. It truly encapsulates the definition of a party place.   

I.Did.Try.Every.Item.

We immediately felt the fun vibe of this place. It’s as if you just wanna shout and party along with them; very festive. We stopped by a hawker stall that sells legit Pad Thai from 30 – 50 Baht (US$ 1). And then the show started. 

Legit Pad Thai.

The lady knows how to keep her audience absorbed with her culinary skills. The tossing of the noodles and the banging of the pan and ladle were lovely. I was so engrossed that blinking was not an option (I might miss out on something). And then the freshly-made Pad Thai was handed to us. And it was great. You cannot get this legit thing anywhere else but the hawker stalls (we also tried the spring rolls – 30 Baht/order).

Pad Thai with shrimps and egg

Spring rolls

Moving on, we searched for a bar for some booze-fix and ended up settling on a stall that sells cheap local beers with some foldable tables and chairs set-up along the road. We had Leo and Chang beers (I love the Chang beer!).

Chang for me!

A fun night followed as we watch the busy people (locals and tourists) pass by us; and then the people-watching went on for hours.

If there’s this one place in Bangkok where you wanna forget about everything and just party, then it has to be Khao San. A place where cultural background is totally not an issue, it’s as if everybody knows practically everyone.

And then Patpong Road.

We rode a cab and directed the cabbie to bring us to Patpong Road. There are loads of nasty scam stories about this place but we still checked it out. As soon as we stepped into this bazaar-laden road we were pestered by some guys who were offering ping pong shows. These shows exhibit the abilities of women using their pelvic muscles for some adult entertainment. They use darts, ping pong balls, balloons and other stuff to show off their skills. This is not for the fainthearted.

A guy brought us to a mezzanine where our bar of choice is situated. The loud music and the circular stage were the first things to notice. The show has started and we settled on one of the seats. We agreed on 100 Baht (US$ 3) per person rate which includes one drink of your choice.

I’ve noted some of the nasty scams in such places so I know that; we shouldn’t allow any drinks that will be placed on our table (which will be automatically charged to us), we shouldn’t agree on some ladies’ invitation to join us on the table, and other stuff. With that in mind, we started to watch the show cautiously (while watching some tourists getting scammed on the above mentioned stuff).

Darts were flown, balloons were popped. Paddles were handed, ping pong balls were flown. Long strings with razor blades were revealed. Candles were put out. Chopsticks were utilized. And so on.

It was terrifying, alarming and not entertaining all at the same time. So as soon as we finished our beers, we decided to head out.

A lady bouncer instructed us to go into this certain table to settle our bill. And we were stunned when we saw that we were charged 16,000 Baht (US$ 491) for the show. Apparently, the 100 Baht fee is for the “free look” and not for the show itself. They have different rates for the several shows that we’ve seen which explains the steep bill (not enough research eh?).

We will not pay this much.

No, no, no, you have to pay.

I’m sorry but we’re leaving.

No, you cannot leave.

Yes, we can!

That was me speaking to the manager and the bouncer. I left 400 Baht (US$ 12) on the table and told my friends to leave. They were still harassing us on our way down but we were firm that we’ll not going to pay much more than what we agreed on.

And then we walked further, as far as we can, and laughed so hard that it looked like we’re totally cracked. The adrenaline rush was just crazy. It seems like we had fun but no, it was silly and stupid for us to even try this stuff.

Warning: Be ready to be ripped off when you decide to check out the ping pong shows. 

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